Switching From Chips to Bread is Like Having Unprotected Sex
Why is anyone wasting their time on chips? They're mid at best. I've slowly come the realization that snacking on bakery bread is infinitely better than artificially seasoned Doritos or a Lays - or even your favorite hipster bag of locally made chips. Crispy, crusty ol' potato chips can't compete with the texture of warm bread. Not even close. I'll get two $1 long breads at Walmart. Then all I need is some $2 spaghetti sauce or $3 garlic butter - and I'm set! You'll always have some sauce, cheese or butter left over from previous breads. Those leftovers will go into the next batch of Walmart breads, and the cycle repeats. If you're gonna carb out, you may as well do it right. Snacking is serious. Children eat chips. Adults melt cheese on fresh sourdough with a blow touch, then top it off with a light spread of pesto and sun-dried tomatoes. Don't even get me started on the beauty of pumpernickel..
Maybe one day Walmart will sell cruelty free, free range breads. Until then, thank you to the man that is chained up in a back room near the deli. Your breads are delicious.